Have you met anyone who has spent 10, 20, 30+ years of their life on antipsychotics?
I have.
It was 2010. I was in IOP, directly after my first hospitalization in Horsham.
The man was in his 50s but looked older.
He’d been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in his early twenties and had been in treatment since.
30+ years.
I’m not sure how many of those years were spent on first generation antipsychotics – haldol, thorazine and the like.
But in the group he told us he was on the maximum dose of Geodon.
His hands shook violently.
He was diabetic.
Overwhelmed, homicidal ideation, etc.
He was not well.
He said he was a good student when he was young.
In spite of his illness he worked as a software developer, was married, had children.
But I was also on Geodon. Barely able to keep my eyes open from the sedation.
And in that man I saw my future.
A slow and painful descent.
Into a fate worse than death.
Laughs and Lobotomies 