Laughs and Lobotomies

I get flashbacks from time to time.

But not all bad.

Some are happy memories.

Funny ones.

Or songs from childhood.

But they are so much worse than the “bad” ones.

Because with every good memory comes the thought how could you?

And I just don’t have an answer or explanation.

And if I were to let out everything that is bottled up inside –

It would just be one scream that never ends.