On a whim one day last year, I checked the facebook of one Jacob Heichert – a man who had raped me freshman year. I saw he had transitioned to female and was going by Jennifer. I saw the outpouring of love and support for a man who put me in a horrible situation. And I lost it. And I hate this individual with a fury but I will continue to defend trans rights because to any who ask because I will be damned if a privileged white ivy league ass hat will set them further back. Because black trans women from Detroit should have the level of support and love and job security that this scum of the earth does. Because trans woman were the fire and the gasoline and the match that set off the LGBT rights movement. Because they gave it life. And Jake/Jennifer cannot take that.
And because of a complicated former 20 year friendship with a transman. He came out maybe 10 years in and started living life as male. I saw every flinch when he was misgendered and I wish I had taken up the burden of correction more. Because he was tired. And for years he told me, “Kelsey, you’re not crazy, your family is just awful”. But he had his own demons. He’d been through hell. He put me down a lot. Belittled me. It wasn’t the lift each other up sort of friendship. And the friends you have at 13 aren’t always the friends you need at 35. People change. We had a lot of fun together, back in the day. But there was a lot of casual meanness too. And deep late night talks. And I wasn’t in a place to maintain that friendship. But I still have the painting he gave me. And when something heavy was put on it and i thought it was broken….I cried, because it was all I had left, of a friendship I thought I’d have forever. And I hope he’s doing ok.
Laughs and Lobotomies 