Laughs and Lobotomies

I’ve been dreaming again, after many, many years.  But they have all been nightmares.  Not a single one has been a good dream.  Until today.

I’ve been watching a TV show lately, and some of the characters have night terrors, and they test themselves as to whether or not they are dreaming by seeing if they can read – because in the show they claim you cannot read if you are asleep, the words will be blurred and jumbled.

Last night, just before waking, I dreamed I received my financial aid determination for school.  And I opened it.  It was blue and white.

And it listed scholarships I received, and amounts.

And while some were misspelled in the dream – I could read them – clear as day – and they were constant, unwavering.

And some were only for a few dollars.

And there were many.

And in the dream about half my tuition was covered by many small scholarships.

And even if I do have to pay entirely in loans – for the first time in so so so long – I had a dream of hope and better things to come.

And I looked up what that show said about reading in dreams – and while very uncommon, some people do – usually writers, poets.

And that hope – that wonderful dream – I thank god for that.

I am so grateful.