Anti-epileptics – seizure medications. They’re used for moods and migraines as well. I was on them for moods but had migraines as a kid. When I went off – the migraines hit in full force. Some work differently than others, and I’m not on the same ones as before. But essentially, you’re looking at a reduction in nerve impulses.
Which I learned from my own experience, and those of others, can impact memory.
Lamictal was like putting a blanket over my long term memory.
Much of it was just….gone.
So sure, I guess you could treat trauma and depression and PTSD by….suppressing memories to some degree? But it was always there, held in my body, chipping away at it. I still felt what I could not remember.
I will have memories come back now.
And sometimes go again.
And when someone asks me if I remember something, it can jog a memory – on Lamictal the memory would stay gone.
Some are good.
Some are bad.
I can’t control what comes.
Some days I want to remember everything.
Some days I want it wiped clean, drowned in a sea of soma, starting over, all the cracks sealed.
Laughs and Lobotomies 