Laughs and Lobotomies

I thought we’d be forever.

I thought your accent was cool and weird.

For the first time in my life I held onto a friend that I wanted.

I was old enough not to let my peers or parents end the friendship.

So I didn’t.

And maybe it has been a giant fucking rollercoaster.

We have friends who have died.

Married.

Given birth.

Lost parents.

Hell, we grew up together, and now we have lived a whole life apart.

Maybe I thought you had something to offer that you didn’t

Maybe you thought the same of me.

But I remember back in college sitting in Tim’s apartment with you and Jared and Tim, and Tim was working on a song and thinking how talented everyone was and I was just me.

I remember Jared protecting us from JM, giving us a place to stay.

I remember thinking nothing would ever change.

For us – for the world.

How wrong I was.

I remember you were the only person I could only talk to about anything even if I didn’t want to hear the answer.

I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you about Jared.  I should have grabbed you and held you until you told me to stop.

And I remember hearing Tim’s song – and knowing that was Jared’s voice.

And Dana, if you ever come across this, 20 years of friendship was never nothing.

I miss you.  Maybe we can start over where we are now.  If not – we have the years – the memories – and know a few people still making great music.