Usually taken as an insult.
But I maintain it depends on the read.
What do you think you deserve?
What do you think I think you deserve?
I always thought you spent too much time on men who were beneath you.
And that after all those years, you should’ve taken more time to be alone.
I lost my 20s. But you did too – in a different way.
Do I have all of your context? No.
But neither do you have all of mine.
I wasn’t suicidal because of the divorce.
Neither of you had any idea on the level of bullying I went through day in and day out as long as I can remember.
I don’t even know if that is the right word.
It was personal.
Targeted.
Relentless.
They went out of their damn way.
And then sometimes, years later, the same person would laugh about it, as if it were normal.
I shut my mouth because 2 adults couldn’t handle the emotional baggage of a child.
And I carried yours. For years.
You never chose me. But you put all your weight on me. Every burden, every sadness, every anger. Every heavy thing.
So sometimes I’m just left asking why.
Why I had to hold yours forever and you couldn’t hold mine for a moment.
And I don’t know what this turned into but I’m just sad.
So I hope you find peace.
And maybe this is shitty writing. Or maybe you think I’m whiny. Well maybe fuck you too.
I’m sure it is.
I don’t care.
Not everything has to be pretty or appeal to someone or be made to be read.
It can just exist.
Laughs and Lobotomies 